The Perfect Flight

Have you ever dreamed of a perfect flight? I have, and often. While this may be an unrealistic list, I hope to land the ideal flight one day!

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What does a perfect flight look like? Here is the wish list:

  1. Zero cancellations,  delays, rerouting, turbulence, maintenance issues, need for a new aircraft, or overselling.
  2. Absolutely no un-ticketed passengers, no bags checked without the owner-on-board, no mystery unaccounted for items.
  3. Never any medical emergencies specifically – let’s avoid heart attacks.
  4. If there must be sprogs and we can’t ban them, can we at least compromise to none in diapers and none that act like troglodytes!
  5. Stop the practice of sharing bodily fluids, no vomit, no blood, no urine or feces, and no bare feet.
  6. Decline people that smell or omit gasses from ANY orifice.
  7. Noone that can’t get on board and arrange their gear and take a seat in less than two minutes. Specifically, have people get on and sit down the same way they project out of their seats upon landing.
  8. Stop those carrying twenty bags or bags that apparently should be checked and don’t fit the overhead.
  9. No violence, no arguing, and no drunks.
  10. Decline anyone that needs two seats and purchased one – at least not sat next to me.
  11. No idiots, no psychopaths, no wankers or total twats – I know this one is a long shot, but my patience is wearing thin.
  12. No one who thinks the person sat next to them is their entertainment. How about a smile, some quick, pleasant chit-chat, then silence?
  13. Everyone completely empties their bowels BEFORE boarding.
  14. Cell phones are on mute, or all are using headsets. Who the heck want’s to listen to someone else’s crap?
  15. Stinky food is not permitted and is confiscated upon entry to the plane.
  16. All wear a mask and comply with regulations.

Stuff You Need for A Perfect Flight

Airplane Footrest How many times have you been on a flight and not had anywhere to put your feet or not been able to get comfortable? Let that be a thing of the past.
Sleep Travel Pillow Need to sleep on the plane? How about an inflatable travel pillow? It’s compact and comes with earbuds and an eye mask.
Silk Eye Pillow A multi-purpose gift. Use on the road or at home. This silk eye pillow is filled with organic Lavender & Flax Seeds (Plus Removable Pouch and Free Gel Eye Mask.

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